Sunday, March 02, 2008

Kiss My Ass

Professional athletes are well known to be the gambling types. Charles Barkley admitted that he has probably lost $10 million gambling, Michael Jordan is a well-known gambler and some conspiracists believe that Jordan's first retirement was actually a suspension for gambling, and some have even gone so far as to create gambling enterprises (Ric Tocchet). So, it should come as no surprise that NBA ballers bet on all sorts of things. Joel Pryzbilla, for example, bet the team trainer, Jay Jensen, that he would play in all 82 games this season after missing significant amounts of games each season during his career.

So when Blazers athletic trainer Jay Jensen - who tends to the aches and pains of Przybilla - heard Przybilla's goal of playing in 82 games, he snickered.

"He kind of laughed at me,'' Przybilla said of Jensen. "So I said, 'Do you want to make a bet?' ''

At that moment The Bet was established:

If Przybilla doesn't play in all 82 games, he has to buy Jensen dinner. But if he does play in every game, Jensen has to kiss Przybilla's behind at half court after the Blazers' final game.

Pryzbilla has another 24 games to go to win the bet, so it could still be lost. But, if I were Jensen I would start stocking up on pink eye medicine.

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As always, sports figures continue their homoerotic horseplay past the point of 'just being guys'.

How about Prz just puts the tip into the trainer's mouth instead? I mean, its not gay if its a bet.

C'mon, do we really want to be hockey? A sport where every major scandal (thanks to Tochhet for finally breaking the cycle) has involved some players coming out about his coach touching him as a junior. Where every other junior hazing has to do with shaving the pubes or taping testes. Where the last one involved a player trying to have his lover/agent killed and where the canadian men's national team decided last spring to play a friendly game of strip shootout after practice.
Only hockey players prefer to see their teammates strip to their garter belts than hot chicks.
Oh yeah, how gay is a sport that had GARTER BELTS?

Im sorry I went off on a hockey rant there but when you talk about althletes and fudge packing, the NHL is really the reference point.

So how about Priz find some other non-sexual way to win a bet?


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