What I Want For NFL Christmas This Year

Tonight is like Christmas Eve for all the NFL fans out there. Tomorrow the first game will be played and we will all watch eagerly like kids on Christmas day. We all want to know the gifts our teams will present and whether they will be good or lumps of coal. For me, I am pretty sure I will be getting coal since my team is the San Francisco 49ers. However, there are five things I am looking forward to in the upcoming season. (These are in reverse order from 5 to 1 despite the numbering, which I can't figure out how to change.)

1. The T.O. and Bill Parcells soap opera. I can’t wait to see how this turns out. I think it can end only in rags or riches, no middle ground. Whatever happens, it should be entertaining. I will be rooting for T.O. to win in his battle against Parcells, whatever winning ends up being. I admit it, I am a T.O. apologist, his on-field talent and theatrics trumps whatever else he has done.
2. The Cincinnati Bengals’ Legal Problems. This off-season the Bengals became the new Jailblazers. I am sure that there will be plenty more of that to come and I wonder how it will affect the team. I just hope the legal issues continue to include BUIs (Boating instead of driving) and tasers.
3. Reggie Bush. That’s it. Just him. The Saints will stink this year but the team will be watchable solely because of this guy. He has amazing talent and can make some players on the defensive side look really foolish. I just hope he pans out. The Texans made a huge mistake in passing on this guy.
4. Another Sexboat or Cheerleader Scandal. The Vikings Sexboat issues and the Carolina Panthers’ cheerleaders sex scandal both made following the NFL much more titillating than in the past. Plus, the jokes were so good.
5. Chad Johnson’s Touchdown Celebrations. Chad Johnson’s (and others) endzone dramas have become persona non grata in the NFL (No Fun League). The league passed some rules to limit the celebrations even more than before but CJ promises he knows how to get around the rules and avoid a fine. Hopefully he scores a lot because it will be fun seeing a bunch of old men squirm and vent about how CJ is making a mockery of the game.